This is the rancid stench of fear.
This is top down, bottoms up sleepless evening.
Every inch of the body is cold. Withered. Fat.
Every glimpse of the lives of those around evoke jealousy.
Every time the chest expands with breath we quiver.
Staring blankly, wondering what it would take to live through this.
And yet…
I live through this pain and death. The transfer of power.
The false memory,
The end of innocence. We march along.
No more loving sensation. Just that sinking feeling.
The unfinished job. The work incompleted.
The impending doom of loss.

Fair time to make a stream of consciousness ramble.
Amble, meander through the boredom.
Just another day. I am trying.
I need a method for motivation.
I want to travel through the wormhole.
I am finding my life to be in the need of a boost.
I am going to ponder what’s impossible.
I want to find the answer.
I don’t really know if i exist or not.
The world is anything but a barrier builder.
I am feelings amplified in love.
Feedback will destroy space and time.

I alone, will manifest beauty in a world where I’m amazed at the concept of survival.

Better days is horizon, living through tumultuous time when

We walk silent with closed eyelids

Careening in a car while texting, no present just next thing

But I can’t let it vex me, I’m blessed.

Fade fade fade.
The white.
Colors fade. Dreams stop. Intimidation.
Humor, ecstasy.
Bell ring, rings, rings. Making me feel silent.
When the night falls like an unconscious victim.
Taken ill. The folly and pawn
Pawn.
Time.
Behaviors gone sour. Fighting. Leaving.
Where do we go in the dark?
How do i get there? How do i get home if I’m alone.
How do i live if I’m stuck with you. You.
You cant live here.
I
can
Not
Save
You.

I’m under the impression that I am an angel.

Spin the fable, the dancer. Solo talent

Bold in the face of challenge.

Chest puffed out, ready to take on the world.

A bird protecting the nest, a learned man-statue.

Never complacent land-dweller.

Shun the urge to fall into my television, or computer screen

A lean-mean social media junky. I know all. I am at one with the fantasy.

The meaningless meandering. But I must face forward.

I run from everything, and am known as a hidden coward.

Would rather fly away than use my power.

I’m a guilt ridden superhero.

I can’t change anything, especially my family. My artistry. 

I train and build and work and toil. My conditioning, my strength. I am not a normal human. My brain has been saturated with love and loss. For years i have attempted to be someone. You gave it all too. We made our way. The happiness of other depended on you. The smiles in the cold darkess. The images and pain. The happiness. They were yours to maintain. We made our way together. A tattered worn duo. An infected eclectic mindstorm. I wont trade that for the world. I am the world. We made the world. I find myself lost at times without your sweet notions. You petite emotions. Your designer headspace. I will build the earth in the times that you are gone.

It’s amazing how we create from within’ then bring outerworld.

Mountain’s move flags unfurl

Stake claim before the fountain runs dry find pearl

Re-design the mind redefine our roles

Boys and girls our habitat is not a toy yet we destroy

We deploy negative employ sedatives

Why don’t we give peace a whirl don’t ignore the betterment

Don’t forget somehow we inhabit this huge piece of rock-flesh

We mock death, have a twisted view of what is progress. 

We fear what is unseen like the loch ness monster

Imposter got the reigns taken over me imperial, in peril

My flow, Niagara falls in barrel

As long as the love billows like smoke and I breathe, I love

I alone, will manifest beauty in a world where I’m amazed at the concept of survival.  

We used to live with the wind. Give from within. Believe in each other win for each other But now all the feeling we used to feel; strength, motivation, have gone by the wayside, so today we ride on this jagged, ragged road to perdition. Nobody will listen. There is no way my soul could envision That my role would become one that holds onto living. My hands are losing their grip. I can’t stand it, Im starting to slip! Gonna lose my mind if i don’t have you Gonna do everything in my control to not have things be the status quo.

The broken dream
Hope, its free.
I used and abused this focused arrangement.
I loafed and made this my sofa-like cloud dwelling
I know this night will be continued success story.
I wrote this memory before, 1 million times.
Redundant, lunging, reaching for limelight fragments.
Fighting for time, yet it is of endless supply.
I need to mend this situation gone awry.
Keep my vision basic, self esteem is on the rise.
I believe my listening will hear your cries.
Ill save you, no need for premature demise.
Or lies that lead you down a dark path.
I feel like my struggle has split me in half.
All i can do is laugh.
All i can do to move is bring it back.
to easier times.

Oh, The Voices.

Sometimes I hear voices/vices

Choices, enlightenment or lifelessness?

The Struggle I’m fighting with, tougher than Tyson in his prime

Try to stay above and keep my distance, hopefully do more before I die

Keep persistent in my dream and vision no hope for the divine

This little piece of land is mine

I’m a brittle beast standing the test of time. 

I will never forget you.
Heart and soul pouring.
I will never let go of the soul you instilled in me.
Long years spent perfecting and polishing.
I will never leave the mindstate.
You helped my life to reach fever pitch.
I saw dancing sweaty bodies. Love.
I witnessed break-ups and melt-downs.
I travelled miles within your confines and stayed centered.
Your limelight never drove my ego to olympian heights.
I was part of you. Your drab walls. Your broken nature.
Your satisfaction. Your over-capacity, under-appreciated wonderland.
Stay with me and don’t ever forget me.